Emotional Intelligence Book Summary by Daniel Goleman | Understand Emotional Intelligence | Be Smart

Emotional Intelligence Book Summary by Daniel Goleman 

Emotional Intelligence :Why it can Matter More than IQ

Emotional Intelligence book by Daniel Golesman

Emotional Intelligence Book Summary by Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence Book

Hello Friends, before going further, analysis this first, If we divide Intelligence into Two parts, The First one will be intellectual intelligence, which we measure by IQ, And the other one will be Emotional Intelligence, which we measure by EQ, Among these two,IQ is the part which is given more importance and value by us.We all want our IQ to be the best, and to be intellectually very smart, meaning to score good grades to have a nice memory,to understand things easily and quickly etc. It's good to think like this, But the problem is,our life success Depends 20% on IQ Whereas,80% depends on our EQ.

Many research and studies have confirmed, Most of the people who had a low or an average IQ, but good EQ has achieved a lot of success in their lives. Whereas people who had a good IQ, but low EQ has everything less in comparison, example happiness,  bank balance, good relationship, etc. The reason for this is; We humans are Emotional Creatures, Most of the people think that humans are logical and Rational creatures, but that's not true. Because, most of the decisions we take are under the Emotional influence, not by logical influence, Example; if a person comes to know, that his house is on fire and his family members are still stuck inside the house. Reaching near the home, he wont think about the fire whether going inside will be safe or not for him, instead he will enter the house directly without thinking about his life, Just to save his family. 


This is the power of emotions, similarly,emotions play a very important role in every aspects of our lives, whether in taking any decisions or in any actions. To be Emotionally Intelligent Means, to understand the powerful emotions of your and of others, and to handle it properly, The person who can understand the emotions of others, which influences them so much,that they cant think of their life, and can connect to such person emotionally. That person can achieve almost everything in his life. And the best part is,we all can learn EQ and can Improve it, by practicing it. Which is not possible for IQ. 

So,Today we will share with you all techniques, By practicing it, you can increase and can improve our EQ.


We all know a Man or have seen in a Reality shows. A person who thinks, he is very talented, he is funny, or he can sing or dance or anything; and feels that people like him and admire his talent, but the reality is totally opposite. He was living under the wrong impression. This was the example of not being self -aware. 
Self-Awareness means, knowing yourself clearly, About your strong points, what are the weak points, about our character, About motives etc. Hence, we are talking about emotions. so in self awareness it will be like,more to understand and focus about your emotions which sounds easy, but its not that simple. Example- Most of the time we say bad things to other or behave badly, but later we realize how bad we behaved, due to anger, which was not right. Emotional self awareness means, Always be informed about your feelings and not going with the flow of emotions. Always be aware about your anger and sadness, to be aware about the behavior of others, which makes you feel good or bad. 


Self-Awareness is the most important part of EQ, because,unless you don't understand your emotions properly, you won't understand others as well.

Managing Emotions 

A man was Driving a car,was his way to home. Suddenly, a fast car passes by his side and overtake his car. It was so close, that he just survived the accident. This incident makes him very angry. He starts abusing that man loudly, but he realizes, that the man couldn't hear him. Then he increases his car gear with full anger, and try to go besides his car, by taking a wrong side of the road so that he can abuse him and shout at him. But suddenly, a car comes in front of him. He reverse his car with full speed, so that he can avoid the clash, Due to which he faces the huge accident. 

Reframing the situation 

We humans usually don't manage our emotions properly, especially anger. Because of which always something bad happens. This sudden anger and emotions,we can't Eliminate it, which we shouldn't do. But yes, we can quickly end the emotions as it comes, we can do this by using the Technique, Reframing. Re-framing means to see that negative situation into different and other perspective. Example - The anger of that car driver was normal and obvious, but instead of ending that anger, it increased because he must have thought that the person inside the car, is trying to act cool or smart, or trying to show off. 


But if he had framed that situation in other way, like maybe that person would have some important work to do, or maybe due to any medical emergency, or anything important, may be the reason of him driving fast. His assumption must be entirely wrong, but Reframing the situation this way,would have handled his emotions in positive way. Due to which he would have controlled his anger, and he would have survived. 

Similarly, Even we have to reframe the negative situation into the positive, to control or manage our anger, without thinking about whether we are Right or Wrong. When we get the negative feeling, it grows as we think, which can create a big problem, so it will be much better, if we break the negative thinking chain as soon as possible. 

Earlier, I had a habit whenever I used to feel sad, I use to listen to sad songs which makes me feel more negative and low. Because, this was not the correct way to deal with the negative situation. The right way to deal with negativity Is to do work which is positive or to do any work which gives you positivity. Example - Going for a walk, to see comedy shows or anything funny, to do exercise or to play any games, or doing yoga or any work which uplift your emotions, make you feel positive, makes you feel happy not sad or negative.


Once a two year old girl, Christen sees a child falling on the ground. She started crying and ran towards her mom. Christen cried, because she felt the pain of that child. Empathy means, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to understand how bad they are feeling, and to share their feelings. Most of the criminals, Rapist, Psychopaths, have one thing in common, they do not have Empathy, they do not understand, how the victim was feeling, when they were harassing and torturing them. As per the test, Psychopaths do not understand the difference between the normal word chair, and emotionally impactful word Death. Having no Empathy, isn't bounded till criminals. Now a days, we can only see the sympathy in all of us not Empathy. 


Sympathy means, to feel Pity on someone, which we can see in social media sites, in many places where people show sympathy for others but have empathy for others, such people are very rare, who feel the pain of others and try to understand others feeling and appreciates other emotions, and try to do something for them. 
Empathy is one of the most important thing, which make you Emotionally intelligent, And its presence in all of us is very important. Now, one of the important ways to improve Empathy is, You need to be very relaxed and patient, because anger will not allow you to understands other feelings & emotions.  

Building Relationships

The time, when there was a war going on between American & Vietnam, And in between of Rice Farm there was the Road, One Side David an American soldier was hiding along with his army, and on the other side Vietnam soldiers were hiding. Firing Was Going on from both the sides. Suddenly, some Buddhist Monks came on the road and they were waling in the single line to cross that road. They were walking very peacefully & calmly, as if nothing was happening without looking right or left, they walk entire road with peace. 

Seeing this, Firing stops from both the sides. David felt really bad, after which he and his team did not feel like fighting. David says, that maybe the Vietnam soldiers feel the same, because even from their side, there was no firing at all. And all the soldiers went back to their military base. In this real life story, every soldier did not feel like fighting because, Emotions are contagious, which easily gets transfer from one person to another. Example - When a child or anyone looks at us with a smiling face, automatically, even we feel like smiling. This happens because our emotions are very impactful on others emotions. 


So, if some one talks to you in anger, and in return if you also talk to that person in anger, then the entire conversation will be in anger and the outcome will not be good. But, if some one talk to you in anger, still you talk to the person calmly and manage your emotion then there will be higher chances, that it will control the other person anger as well. 

We have shared this concepts and ideas from the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, you should read this book, because I personally feels, that having Emotional Intelligence is very important for all of us This will help you in business, relationships, and almost in every aspects. 

I hope you like it and this will help you in business,Relationships and almost in every aspects. Thankyou for reading! Don't forget to share with your friends.